i’ve been thinking a lot
about who I’ve given my body to
the late night hours
when I can’t sleep
so sit in living room with ginger tea
reading pauline oliveros
and deep listening
to my high-as-fuck neighbor
mow his lawn at midnight
while you sleep in my bed
soft breaths
heavy breaths
contracting muscles
gasps
bad dreams that I dare not disturb
for fear that reality with me may be worse
sometimes
why when we’ve found this
each other
must everything be torn apart
in the name of music
only in the name of music
does it feel okay to me
when I used to be with her
my body would go numb
still
breathless
not in the good way
her touch made me recoil
made me bleed
not in the good way
my body only useful to her
when it made her feel good
now when I’m with you
everything feels green
alive
breathless
in the good way
warm and safe
holy hell what I have found
under your chin and
under your arms
beneath your skin and
beneath your teeth
i am so grateful
i am so grateful
i am so grateful
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